<code><sub>November 4th 19**</sub></code><code> <b>{W}</b>hen I was five, I had lost my voice. I do not know how, but I remember myself screaming in the hospital when my grandfather had died, everyone tried to keep me quite but of course, it didn't work. While I kept screaming, hitting thing's, pushing away the people who tried to keep me quiet, I had seen, in the dim light, that only my uncle has kept silent.  He doesn't hate me though, but I could see in his eye's that he was about to do something unexpected. My uncle walks forward and just exit's the door, everyone looked at him, while I looked at grandpa again,

"Papa..." I looked at his grey hair, the way he had a slight smile on his face, I regret ever seeing a face like that, especially the clothing, stripes hugging the white cloth of his shirt, his pen beside the desk whenever he needed to write something on his journal, I took it with me, and said my goodbye. When my uncle left, everyone did, leaving me alone with my step-mother, Corinne Chesters, the kind of bitch she is on the outside, but on the inside I know that she's hiding her identity.

November 24th 19**
<b>{C}</b>orinne would invite a man everytime I went to school, sometimes I would even find (unusually not surprised at that time) her undergarment's on the stairs, yet, no noise. She would then be in her usual dress, always the plain color's, unlike what the women wore in our neighborhood, "Bonjour mon petite garçon! 'Ow was school?" then I would just shrug, since she would forget that I had no voice!

I should've written more of what happened, but someone had ripped out the pages!Whoever did it must've been one of the drunkard's. Im upstair's in my room, writing down these thing's as I hear shouting downstairs. I shrugged off my thoughts and went downstair's, seeing Corinne and a man arguing about something. As sneaky as I was, I bent down to see what was going on, apparently she shoved the man out of the house, sending him a sudden anger that he threw the wine bottle to our window, Corinne just simply scoffed, but then shouted at the man once more " I WILL NOT, GO TO PARIS WITH YOU, YOU CHEATING, YOU...UGH...merde..." furrowing my eyebrows, I don't know if I should go down to comfort Corinne, or pretend nothing happened (since this might happen again in a few weeks).

November 26th 19**

<img src="" align="left"><b>{A}</b>nd there you have it, she did it again, my thought's never failed me with Corinne (she feed's me and all that, but I would rather stay upstairs in the roof and feel the cold freezing air run through my ears, sometime's I would play on my accordion whenever it's too silent.) but this time, something was really of the hook, as I went downstairs, I saw blood all over the left side of the wall, most of the blood looked like they had dried out. After observing the blood, I could feel my eyes water, softly whispering to myself, "C-corinne..." I am now 13, I can't cry like I used to, I have to stay strong, maybe this is just a dream, a dream of where i'm trapped in a box, surrounded by all my family members, especially another member I hadn't told you, my supposed-to-be baby step-brother, he died after being born, so that's why Corinne would do this 'cuddling service'. Im going to turn 14 in December, this can't be happening now!

I was too lost in thought, then all I remembered was a bottle hitting my head, making me black out...

November 27th 19**

<b>{A}</b>fter looking through my pockets for my journal and grandpa's pen, immédiatement, I wrote down the thing's, where am I now? Im in a basement, surrounded by knives, scissors, ragged t-shirts, carnival props, and strange enough, a beret with a mime outfit neatly folded ontop of the dusty oakwood table, "Allez, allez!Bonjour, Thomas" he chuckled and gently helped me up, I looked up at the man, smiling in an unusual place like this, 'Bonjour, do you know my name?', ah, merde, I just realized I had no voice, but  I told him to wait, while I pulled out my journal and pen, 'Bonjour, who are you?'.

The man told me his name was Jacques, it would be rude to ask how old he was, but he only gave me a hint that he was in his 20's, "So, what bring's you 'ere to Paris, boy from Normandy?No wait, let me guess" He commanded me to turn, I awkwardly did so,"Felipe, our 'boss' must've dragged you all the way here for his shows...but why to a boy like you?He said he would never grab a child *cough*ouch! I meant teen, into this place, do you know what happened?" All I did was shrug, writing down what I know happened, jacques just looked down and sighed, "Well, I heard that this mademoiselle named 'Corinne' was bleeding to death, boss wanted a uh, another can-can girl to join in, but ever since the past few weeks, he was always busy with this 'Corinne-" I shoved the journal to his face, "Corinne, is my step mother..." Jacques looked at Thomas for a moment, "Oh....well, im sorry then, she died yesterday, you had been asleep for at least a whole, day."

I got up, trying to make myself scream, but I know I can't, I get that feeling of being stuck in the box again, ignoring Jacques' comfortable word's, I smashed a few unique russian doll's nearby, and slammed my head on the door, WHY!? Why, does this keep happening?! I couldn't stand it anymore till I could feel a lump on my throat, and those, dreadful tears dripping down to the wooden floor, I tried to write down the thing's I wanted to say, but I only managed to write the few important ones 'take me, to boss', as desperate as we both were, jacques went up to the door,I did the same.Looking out, he could see his boss shouting at a man in a brown tuxedo outfit, the magician looked terrified, his trembling voice makes me tremble of how i'm going to deal with this guy.

It was past lunch time, jacques had brought us baguette and escargot, since he couldn't go out to town and buy something else, but food is food. Felipe finally came into the basement, "Thomas, let me explain why you're here, your step-mother Corinne, she agreed to be part of this society, but sadly she was already dead before we knew it, now I don't know who did it. I found you on the floor, so I took you in, and when I say that, you have no choice but to be our new mime. I am sorry, but if you want to go back to Normandy, where there is nothing left in your house, you're free to do so, but just don't come back EVER, if you make such choice. War is still here, but in this part of town you both should be safe" Felipe looked at Jacques, concern in his eyes, 

but then who was Jacques, supposed to be?

December 1st 19**

"Bon anniversaire Thomas!!" Jacques, Felipe, the magician in a brown tuxedo (who I later found out his name was Jean-Phillip, Felipe's cousin) gave me a surprise party, 

I finally turned 14, and yesterday, I went out with Jacques with my mime costume, performing some mimicking and pantomiming (mostly just not, following what the other person did, I tried a few time's, but of course I still need more practice).

"Your performance was amazing, not bad for a beginner, heheh" Jean-Phillip commented, I nodded and hugged him, as my way of saying thank you,

"HAHAH! You should've seen the look on that woman! You know Thomas, I don't think any 14 year old's would perform as a mime in public" Felipe smiled, for once,

I wrote down something 'Is that so'

"Very much so"

"YES! MAIIS, you are something special, that neither of us hadn't experienced." Jacques spoke out,

'Will I ever, get to see Normandy again?' Everyone just looked at each other one at a time, Felipe sighed, stood up, and said everyone a goodnight "One day Thomas, Normandy is still recovering..." That night, Felipe had gotten me an accordion *since he figured out that I needed to have more entertainment when I still practiced pantomiming, Jean-Phillip gave me new shoes & a new journal in case I finished this small one, and lastly, Jacques, his gift was more surprising,

He told me he would be my father, Jacques would do anything to keep me alive, ever since the trouble's he knew I had was that bad.

<b>{E}</b>verything was going fine, school wasn't really affordable right now, but like Jacques said, he would be my father, so I got homeschooled, and I did tremble whenever he get's really pissed off. Felipe was more busy with the audience than ever, his cousin did more magic trick's, it was as if my life had never started horrible in the first place. You see, if I was a German, but I had brown hair, and blue eye's, I don't think I would even survive in the war, but we're lucky we are far off of Deutschland. -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

<b>{I}</b>'m a young adult now, Felipe had passed away not because of age, but he died because of a major heart-attack, horryfyilngly, on the stage. Jean-Phillip married off with an Italian woman named Flaviana, her family was rich, but Jean-Phillip had given us money to survive, and make the stadium our home, since Felipe died, and no one goes in to watch the performance anymore,

yet, I still performed, out of Paris, I went to most part's of France, except I had completely forgotten I was in my mime outfit once, and I grabbed myself some wine, then a few men were looking at me like I was crazy.

I died my hair grey, don't ask what I used, it's kind of a secret.

Don't I just look, magnifique?

I wonder where Jacques is.

He has denied going with me, probably busy with his new job, whatsoever, it wasn't like Corinne's job...

Corinne, the woman who was my step-mother, that was only desperate about her 'men'.

I wonder who, it might've been, if it was Felipe, I can't confront him now..


<b>{I}</b>t keep's coming back, 

the feeling

it's always there whenever I perform to my audience.

There is nothing I can do about it,

all the misfortunate thing's.

I need father, I can't call him because I have no voice,

no voice, no call.

He hasn't replied to my letter's...

I sighed,

   c'est le fin pour moi...


C'est le fin pour toi.


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